Reset

Tracing it back step by step,

Looking over my shoulder

I see the path that I have already tread

Staring down into the staircase of my mind

The blindness and the darkness that had caressed and guided me

Today I stand atop the heights

To look down with enlightenment

With sorrow

With sadness

With grief

The journey has been arduous

Painful

And the dangers that were before me …

I took hold of the hands that were held out

I called them dear to me

But they were the monsters that I couldn’t see because of my blindness and the darkness

Betrayal

Gas lighting

Lies

Deceit

Manipulation

Many who I held dear

Who held my hands to keep me blind

And to keep me hidden

Supressed

Controlled

They used words of charm and claimed their unconditional love towards me

And I gave them my love, whole heartedly and generously

But the deceit lay in their actions

The stones they threw

The arrows they shot

To deliberately trip and harm

To create loss

Fear

Conditioning

Competition

But no matter.

I have made may way upwards regardless

Guided by an inner knowing despite the obstructions

Despite the lies

The tormentors …. with their lying tongues

They warmed my heart

They gave me connection …for a short time

But they always left me in the cold

Supported my losses

And abandoned me in my success

Tearing my wins down with minimisations and cruel put downs

Discouraging my starts

Selling me lies and false encouragements

Positive toxicity and subtle messages of competition

Refusing words of affection

Threats in unguarded moments

Waiting for opportunity in my vulnerable times

Sharing smiles that held snarling teeth and menacing eyes

Wiht viscous snarling jokes…always at my expense

But it is not my right to cast blame nor judgement

I received what I believed

The Divine said “yes”, to what I believed was my worth

And he gave generously and abundantly

Despair

Less

Lack

Loss

Betrayal… yes deep betrayals

Lies

Theft

This is what I asked for and that was indeed my blessing

Yes it has been abundant.

So the Mountain is revealing me

And I feel anger

Pain

Loss

Lack

Grief

I received my lot and my worth.

So thank you darkness

Thank you Monsters

Thank you for the pain

Thank you for the betrayal

I am reeling in my own grief

Sorrow for my own error

As I look now to the Heavens for answers

They simply said “yes”.

Yes to what I believed I was worth

So now I shall sit atop of the mountain

Alone

To reset

Determine a new outcome

A new design

Discovery

Determination

A new guideline

A new book

Love

Connection

Truth

Authenticity

Courage

Confidence

Clarity

Spirituality

Friendship

Care

Nutrition

Health

Beauty

Worth

Setting the bar high this time

With care and concern for the outcome

Leaving the old and the scars

The PTSD

The trauma

I shall receive good things

Because I am learning my place

My potential

My value

My Worth

Wealth

Abundance

Pleasure

Luxury

Travel

Luck

Family

True Love

Because I will stand in my Authenticity

My power

My talents and giftings

I shall be seen

I shall be heard

Because I am a light that will shine in the darkest reaches

A phoenix and a wild thing that cannot be tamed

She is readying herself

She is coming

The dungeons and the cages have been released

Be watchful for you shall not miss her when she is revealed.

She is a light in the darkness and an army of strength

Watch for her

You will know her when she comes

Morality

Good things have good outcomes

Love does not deceive

It breathes the fiery truth

and it burns

…but my love it cleanses

Do not doubt yourself

Do not doubt

Angels can cry beautiful tears and look at you with adoring sad eyes

But not all angels bring blessings

Some bring turmoil and pain and heartache

They demand

And refuse compromise

They betray you and trick you

They will hold you and whisper loving things that you need so desperately

That you deserve

But they will leave you feeling as if you have drunk on dust instead of water

My Love…love fills your heart

Your cup will be overflowing

Love is testable

It strengthens you

And brings you abundance

Test and ask what love does

and how love feels

Ask the universe for help

Ask the universe for guidance and clarity.

The Empress Rises

I am walking toward you Lilith

And my sword is unsheathed

I am ready to cut off your head

I will stand alone

And I will never give in

I am here forever

I am bound to a purpose

and you have chosen to war upon that purpose

I am coming for you

I have sat silent

Until now…

Be ready because you are about to see me in my strength

I am a Lioness who protects her Pride

and you are a laughing hyena

I am coming for you

See me walking towards you

Watch me raise my hand as I cut off your head

YOU

I am ready

The hearth is warm

Arms are held out before you

Run

Hurry

Your home is awaiting it’s Master

Friendship

Love

Generosity

Freedom

Run

Hurry

Don’t wait a second longer than necessary

Go to where you belong

…. Me

What is Strength?

I hear the the flapping of the angels wings

I smell the sulphur and fumes rising from the pitts of Hell

As both the gates of Hell and Heaven open

Two armies are lined up upon the battle field

They ask the Creator “Is it now?”

Both parties stamping their feet and chomping at the bit

The decision lies upon you

Two paths are stretched out

The road to Hell is lined with gold, and wealth and the path is broad and easy

As you glide so elegantly down it……into the jaws of The Beast

Indecision is still a decision

And Judgement falls upon you regardless

I have seen death

As you choose your path

You hold life in your very hands and the lives and the future of your children

And ‘The Purpose’

Your ‘Destiny’ lies unfulfilled

Happiness and abundance is in your very hands

As others lie in wait for you to declare either their salvation

Or their end

Both paths will inflict the whip upon your bare back

Pain shall not be removed from you

But the pain that is inflicted from love….

Shall heal the deep wounds that have been inflicted upon you

Do not fear

Death is a gift and ‘The Beyond’ is our real home

The hammer and nails that you hold in your hand

Shall shut the lid upon someones coffin

But beware for it could be your own

This is ‘The Junction’

Indecision …is still a decision

When you are Just to yourself

You are Just to them

When you love you

You love them

The date has been assigned

You are being called upon to find your strength

True strength does not wield a hammer

It is not brash

It is not proud

It does not run

It does not desire false things and deceptions

Strength lies in holding the hands of fear

It shakes like a puppy in a storm

It stands firm despite the vast and painful feelings that threaten to overwhelm

It allows the Tsunami

Strength shakes at the knees

It stands naked before the crowd as they jeer and scorn you

They do so because they are weak

And you shall feel their scorn

Because truth simply is.

Truth exists whether it is clothed or hidden

Truth in fact grows louder and louder like a wailing horn that you can not suppress

It turns the heads of everyone towards it

The more layers you use to suppress it…. The louder and stronger it shall become

Strength…..

Strength stands before the crowd, humbled, naked…

The crowd will jeer

And you shall stand out as a joke, and they shall turn upon you

But if you stand quietly

Humbly

Firmly

They shall disperse

They shall become bored

The tables will turn, and you will hear them quieten also

And soon they will applaud you

The people who claim friendship but are indeed false friends shall reveal their true intentions

They shall realise you stand there with purpose in humility

It will reveal to them that they also stand naked

They will either flee to find cover…

Or the the true friends will climb the stage to stand next to you

As everyone shall also realise their own shame as you stand as a leader before them all

And what was initially your shame, shall in fact become your glory

Some of the crowd will become your most loyal comrades and allies

You shall find strength in each other

You shall find true Friendship

As you discover your nakedness

You shall discover your power

For there will be nothing for anyone to tear off of you

And the discomfort and shame that you feel when you are naked…. shall become your greatest comfort

Your freedom

Your strength

Your power

Your confidence

Your purpose is to change history

But greatness does not always appear as the weilder of swords or a brave Knight.

Greatness can be willingly carrying your own cross

Accepting the blows of others ….despite the injustice

Greatness in the eyes of Heaven,

Gives to the weary

It offers mercy and help to those that suffer and to those who do not deserve it

Greatness endures for a greater good and for Divine purpose

Greatness releases others to their true path

This is the test

The Spirits are asking if you are strong enough for the task before you

Fairness

Justice

Balance

The weak abandon their post

But the Strong….see deceit

And cut through it to reveal truth

and this, my Dear….. is love

The greatest love

And it is the thing your heart desires above everything else.

Let it rule you

Let it overwhelm you

Let it wash you clean

Succumb to it!

The army is awaiting your command

and help is always near.

Cutting the Cords

Cutting the cords that do not serve

No longer waiting for things to unfold

Making it happen for ones very own self

No longer giving it for any wasted cause

Rather letting it lay in it’s bed

Getting it now

I’m fuller and greater than I ever realised

Throwing down the tower

Smashing it to pieces!

I’ll dance in it’s ashes

From the lightening that lit it

I am not in error

And not a beast of burden

I am throwing off the shackles and smashing them to peices

Picking up the whip that once bled the shoulder

Turning it now upon the lazy driver

Bare your own burdens

You slave driver and thief

I am owned by no one

I’ll be wiping my hands on the cloth of your defeat