Denial- I wonder about the nature of this word
I wonder how I don’t even consider it in the most obvious of moments
I wonder how I come to think about myself
How I choose to shape my life
Decision’s seem far from my control,
Because they are.
My beliefs are not reflections of my true self.
They mask the true self
I fear the very things that my beliefs produce
I long for assurance
I seek contentment
And I’ve often wondered at my own crazy actions and decisions
I am stunned by my own beliefs
How I developed them
They become indiscriminate in their application- no matter of their original context….that is lost.
I have been journeying down this path of enquiry
The more I discover the deeper I am desperate to dig
I have been fiercely weeding out and discovering my beliefs and the things that have driven me for so long.
They have been fearsome revelations
But the excitement for the road upwards has been a great motivator
The weeding of these beliefs have become the removing of all types of angst
I know who I am
I can see where the line is and I walk it with ease
The spinning has stopped
I love this
It is peace and comfort
Finally I own myself.