Butterflies and nausea
Mania and depression
Escalation and cessation
I am everything at every moment
Trepidation and confidence
Clairvoyance and blindness
I am hand in hand with both terror and courage
Scattering focus and yet remaining totally engaged
As I build walls
And smash them down again, every single hour
I am waiting upon you
Just as you are waiting upon me
Today, I reflected upon my fear
I reflected upon what restoration looks like
Afterwards, is easy.
But how do you get there?
I observed my fears
I observed how I am creating them
How I am creating obstruction
I was creating a cage
My error washed over me
The temptation to control my fear by controlling you.
To create limitations and rules and do’s and do nots’
Don’t ever’s and threats of leaving and abandonment
To create a contract full of boundaries and expectations.
To stand before you in judgement.
As the dictator of us.
I am in such error.
And I am sorry.
If I am to love you,
Then you must be free.
So my love,
Here is your freedom.
Here is my trust.
My willingness to try.
If you stand before me and ask
The answer is yes.
Yes to your freedom.
As I stand before you
I choose to accept you as you are
I commit to encouraging you to live fully in your own expression
And the knowledge that my arms will welcome you
Should you choose to step into them.