The Freedom

Butterflies and nausea

Mania and depression

Escalation and cessation

I am everything at every moment

Trepidation and confidence

Clairvoyance and blindness

I am hand in hand with both terror and courage

Flip flopping

Scattering focus and yet remaining totally engaged

As I build walls

And smash them down again, every single hour

I am waiting upon you

Just as you are waiting upon me

Today, I reflected upon my fear

I reflected upon what restoration looks like

Afterwards, is easy.

But how do you get there?

I observed my fears

I observed how I am creating them

How I am creating obstruction

I was creating a cage

My error washed over me

The temptation to control my fear by controlling you.

To create limitations and rules and do’s and do nots’

Don’t ever’s and threats of leaving and abandonment

To create a contract full of boundaries and expectations.

To stand before you in judgement.

As the dictator of us.

I am in such error.

And I am sorry.

If I am to love you,

Then you must be free.

So my love,

Here is your freedom.

Here is my trust.

My vulnerability.

My willingness to try.

If you stand before me and ask

The answer is yes.

Yes to your freedom.

As I stand before you

I choose to accept you as you are

I commit to encouraging you to live fully in your own expression

And the knowledge that my arms will welcome you

Should you choose to step into them.

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