The Performer

I am the fool and the wandering minstrel

I clap my hands and I play amongst the crowds

I wander around the grounds of palaces and scuttle through the alley’s and the gutters of the shanty towns

I am seen on every corner and on every stage

Thousands remember my face my charm my talent

I am flocked by the masses…..

But in the quiet and the silence at beginning or the end of the show

No once see’s who really sits behind the mask of the performer as he sadly wishes for a single one to love him when he sits there alone, silent and invisible in the darkened wings of the stage and before he emerges from the dressing room.

The New Moon 11/5/2021

I welcome you little stars as you shine the brightest this very night

I see you greater than you have ever been

As darkness surrounds you

This is the time you will be seen

Your greatest hour

The moon hides herself with intention

So shine gloriously

This night is yours

All are listening

The stage has been set

Stand together as a beautiful chorus of healing, love and brilliance.

As we navigate our paths by you.

We send you our love and gratitude for the honour you bestow

The Seated

People returned secretly at first

One by one until they become a long line of seekers

They are those who are pulled by desires they do not understand

Remembering how abundance had rained upon them once

They remember tasting food from a table of foreign delicacies

They had secretly loved and wanted more of it

But to their peers and to their allies

They pretended to despise the table

Choosing instead bland gruel lacking flavour, colour and nutrition

They turned up their nose at the foreigners

Their wisdom

Their skills

Their wealth.

They returned to their gruel, expecting to find satisfaction again as they had once before.

But they had to forcibly swallow and choke it down

They checked with the cooks

Who looked at them strangely – No one had ever complained before…

They added sugar

They added salt

They added cream

And although it helped a little

It did not satisfy

After all gruel is gruel

Boredom and dissatisfaction grew

And slowly, slowly

One at a time

They looked toward the foreigners and remembered how nice it had been

How fiery, satisfying, interesting and vibrant and warm it had been.

But pride held the loudest of those who had laughed to sit with the gruel forever

But one by one, those who had secretly loved and desired the foreign table, visited the foreigners in secret

They sat at that table again so they could taste the riches and the wealth that they brought.

Knowing that by doing so, they would be forever changed and that is what they hoped for.

The Work

I see a mess

The garden is weed

Rocks sit as innocent as icebergs

They create infertility and broken backs

But there is no other space

And sustenance must be procured

One weed

One stone

One rock at a time

They must be destroyed

removed

vanquished

crushed or banished

It starts slowly

Painfully

The overwhelm of where to start causes procrastination

But there is nothing to fear

You can start where you stand

Justice

https://youtu.be/WNeuXbp4OMs Flags by Brooke Fraser, play whilst reading for full effect.

24/4/2021

In case you can’t read my terrible writing and poor spelling lol….

Change is in the wind

As I stand in the Court of the Masses

As slander and graffiti are written on me from my head to my toe

I stand as the wretched

As I am raised by ropes that elevate me above their heads

To sway gently in the breeze and the hot breath of those who hate without cause and without reason.

But the rains come and it falls on everyone who stands in the open Court

As it washes me clean, so that I am seen more beautiful and higher than any person with hate in their heart ever imagined.

And my eyes can see the dawning of light from that hight, whilst shadows are cast by the masses, that slowly dissipate, as they too see the dawn coming…..and the light also

I had a conversation with my cousin on the 30th January this year (2021 for future readers), It was a deeply significant conversation for me. It will mark the beginning of change for me. It is hard for me to explain some of the things that have happened in my past. I literally can’t speak it. My throat closes and I cannot talk.

The conversation was the first and only acknowledgement of the injustice that I received from within my family, by a family member.

I will never forget that he did that.

As we were talking, I started painting (it’s been years since I have), this is what I painted.

It is unfinished, the foetus is still forming, I visualised other images to place in it at the time. But this was the end of what I was meant to do on it for now.

Today the same cousin posted the word ‘Justice’ on his FB page. It wasn’t about me. But, suddenly more messages and images came flooding in, along with the memory of this image.

A Brooke Fraser song came on my iTunes at random, Flags, (I hope you take the time to listen to it) and the story started to become clearer.

Sometimes the path to justice is about screaming and pushing back against injustice. Sometimes it’s patiently waiting for others around you to see the truth on their own, in their own time. We have to release those we love, to let Spirit guide them to it. Either way, Justice is here.

I keep seeing a dry riverbed with a trickle of water, that quickly becomes a very fast and and massive volume of water that arrives in a sudden almost violent wave.

Water is finally here for the thirsty.

Get ready to drink.

25/4/2021- update

The day I posted this, after I had posted it, I went to my local hardware store (Bunnings Australia…my favourite place), on returning, I caught my neighbour doing something that has created tension between us. I confronted him directly, to his face EVERYTHING that he has done!!

This is not what I would have normally done. But I realised that this was a lesson that Spirit has been trying to teach me many many times. In the past I really suffered with a closed throat Chakra. I was never able to speak up at the right time, I’d go blank, I couldn’t think straight and I couldn’t defend myself in the moment. The things I should have said would come to me about 2 days later, and I would be so upset and mad that I didn’t say it. The moment would pass and I would be left feeling powerless and trapped in unjust situations.

Yesterday afternoon, I finally had a win. This mature big family man resorted to a childish tactic by saying to me…“I can’t hear you, can you speak up.”, repetitively whilst looking at me and smiling, he could very clearly hear me and was trying to throw me off. I suddenly realised that I had been given the upper hand and I took the opportunity to say everything I had wanted to say.. (in the past I wouldn’t have dared do so), he had literally just given me the floor, he had to stay silent so he didn’t look like he was faking it, so I sat on the ground whilst he continued doing what he was doing, and I said everything.

I am not an aggressive person. But one of the cycles that Spirit keeps bringing me, is about standing up for myself, owning my space, owning my rights, and not only standing my ground but also learning to push back when it is needed. To openly challenge when challenged. Not caving when others use intimidation tactics and manipulations against me.

Afterwards, he simply walked away without a word, and I went inside and of course meditated on what had happened and I received a heap of positive affirming statements.

Sometimes we have to bring the justice. We are the justice. We are the Judges. We are the court.

We have to play every role in order to see with wisdom and empathy.

Although, I was confronting and I felt in that moment, that I was the aggressor, the words needed to be said, the impact needed to be made. I detest having to do this, I would prefer other more passive and kinder alternatives, but sometimes after you’ve exhausted those alternatives, you are left with no other choice. Stamping your foot and raising your voice cannot not be avoided.

We can be Victims that remain in a Victim cycle or we can be Victims who learn and stop those toxic cycles, so we can be true to who we are and what our purpose is.

Who are you and what is your purpose?

What keeps on happening to you to prevent you from standing in your authenticity and the work that you really want to do…are meant to do?

I love you

Keep learning with me.

Nina

Nina sing yourself to me

Tell the world about your sadness and despair

You’ve known it well

Lazy calm oozes

I sit on the front porch

Imagining I am in the deep south

Sing Nina!

Tell me of the sorrow and the despair that you knew!

The Sun and the Blues  collaborate

Strangely made for each other

Heat and heartache

Smelted together in smooth sympatico waves.

The Answer Is No

The offers are many

I will give you half a plate of the perfect meal

The answer is no.

I will give you my hand but you shall never have my heart

The answer is no.

I will give you my body but you shall never have my mind

The answer is no.

I will give you my humour but never my time

The answer is no.

I will give you a glimpse but never the full picture

The answer is no.

I will give you my sex but not my care

The answer is no.

I will give you a little but never enough

The answer is no.

I will offer you a bounty of kind words, but scarcity of action

The answer is no.

I will show you plenty but leave you in need.

The answer is no.

I will offer you my eye’s but you cannot have my ears

The answer is no

To receive a full cup, only an equally full cup is worthy of exchange.

The offers we receive are a reflection of the fullness of the cup that we hold.

The Ship

I saw an old sailing ship with a large mast and many many sails

it was in the harbour raising it’s sails, readying for it’s maiden voyage

The sky was a vivid pink

The water was grey blue with traces of turquoise green, white and navy blue

I watched it slowly at first turning toward the opening of the harbour

It quickly became an image I was painting instead of a moving scene

I stood in the painting my back to the viewer my hair flying free

I saw flowers like a garland draping around the painting

But I heard and felt myself singing tunes that wished the voyagers well as they left the harbour

It was a happy and joyous song

There was a festiveness surrounding the entire occasion

Good things were going to happen

There was great joy and excitement in the air!

The birds were flying

Music was playing

The air was warm

I couldn’t see them but I felt that people were dancing in the streets by the harbour

Swinging on each others arms

Prosperity was assured

Everyone was smiling!

I felt myself saying incantations and prayers over the ship

Prosperity

Encouragement

Excitement

I kept crinkling my nose and smiling

and speaking more!

Hurry hurry hurry!

You must go!

Go into your future!

Run into it!

It is awaiting you and so much is in store!

Do not tarry oh Voyager!

You are ready!!!

Do you see all that you desire is out to Sea

Raise the sails!

The world is ready to greet you!

xxxx