A little art performance for you.
We don’t always shine at our best. It takes practice and self belief before we feel comfortable being us and challenging anyone who says otherwise. It’s ok to sputter and spurt before you become a blazing fire. Be kind to yourself, especially when the darkness feels overwhelming. You are valuable to this world as you are. You are the only one who can shine the way you do.
You are light.
I gaze upon those with whom I see as those who look like me
But as I stand to face them, and look into their eyes, I see things I do not recognise. Despite the skins they wear.
I peer into them as strange things.
Aliens and vacuous beings
The search begins to look into the eyes of those who carry the light
The light that shines the same as mine
The light I can warm myself with
So that not only do we look right together
But to also see into each other as equals
As one
As those who recognise each other as home, sustenance and pure energy.
I am the fool and the wandering minstrel
I clap my hands and I play amongst the crowds
I wander around the grounds of palaces and scuttle through the alley’s and the gutters of the shanty towns
I am seen on every corner and on every stage
Thousands remember my face my charm my talent
I am flocked by the masses…..
But in the quiet and the silence at beginning or the end of the show
No one see’s who really sits behind the mask of the performer as he sadly wishes for a single one to love him when he sits there alone, silent and invisible in the darkened wings of the stage and before he emerges from the dressing room.
I welcome you little stars as you shine the brightest this very night
I see you greater than you have ever been
As darkness surrounds you
This is the time you will be seen
Your greatest hour
The moon hides herself with intention
So shine gloriously
This night is yours
All are listening
The stage has been set
Stand together as a beautiful chorus of healing, love and brilliance.
As we navigate our paths by you.
We send you our love and gratitude for the honour you bestow
Trust your own inner guidance. You are worthy of love, support, happiness, peace.
People returned secretly at first
One by one, until they became a long line of seekers
They are those who are pulled by desires they do not understand
Remembering how abundance had rained upon them once
They remember tasting food from a table of foreign delicacies
They had secretly loved and wanted more of
But to their peers and to their allies
They pretended to despise the table
Choosing instead bland gruel lacking flavour, colour and nutrition
They turned up their nose at the foreigners
Their wisdom
Their skills
Their wealth.
They returned to their gruel, expecting to find satisfaction again as they had once before.
But they had to forcibly swallow and choke it down
They checked with the cooks
Who looked at them strangely – No one had ever complained before…
They added sugar
They added salt
They added cream
And although it helped a little
It did not satisfy
After all gruel is gruel
Boredom and dissatisfaction grew
And slowly, slowly
One at a time
They looked toward the foreigners and remembered how nice it had been
How fiery, satisfying, interesting and vibrant and warm it had been.
But pride held the loudest of those who had laughed, to sit with the gruel forever
But one by one, those who had secretly loved and desired the foreign table, visited the foreigners in secret
They sat at that table again so they could taste the riches and the wealth that they brought.
Knowing that by doing so, they would be forever changed and that is what they hoped for.
I see a mess
The garden is weed
Rocks sit as innocent as icebergs
They create infertility and broken backs
But there is no other space
And sustenance must be procured
One weed
One stone
One rock at a time
They must be destroyed
removed
vanquished
crushed or banished
It starts slowly
Painfully
The overwhelm of where to start causes procrastination
But there is nothing to fear
You can start where you stand
https://youtu.be/WNeuXbp4OMs Flags by Brooke Fraser, play whilst reading for full effect.
24/4/2021
In case you can’t read my terrible writing and poor spelling lol….
Change is in the wind
As I stand in the Court of the Masses
As slander and graffiti are written on me from my head to my toe
I stand as the wretched
As I am raised by ropes that elevate me above their heads
To sway gently in the breeze and the hot breath of those who hate without cause and without reason.
But the rains come and it falls on everyone who stands in the open Court
As it washes me clean, so that I am seen more beautiful and higher than any person with hate in their heart ever imagined.
And my eyes can see the dawning of light from that hight, whilst shadows are cast by the masses, that slowly dissipate, as they too see the dawn coming…..and the light also
I had a conversation with my cousin on the 30th January this year (2021 for future readers), It was a deeply significant conversation for me. It will mark the beginning of change for me. It is hard for me to explain some of the things that have happened in my past. I literally can’t speak it. My throat closes and I cannot talk.
The conversation was the first and only acknowledgement of the injustice that I received from within my family, by a family member.
I will never forget that he did that.
As we were talking, I started painting (it’s been years since I have), this is what I painted.
It is unfinished, the foetus is still forming, I visualised other images to place in it at the time. But this was the end of what I was meant to do on it for now.
Today the same cousin posted the word ‘Justice’ on his FB page. It wasn’t about me. But, suddenly more messages and images came flooding in, along with the memory of this image.
A Brooke Fraser song came on my iTunes at random, Flags, (I hope you take the time to listen to it) and the story started to become clearer.
Sometimes the path to justice is about screaming and pushing back against injustice. Sometimes it’s patiently waiting for others around you to see the truth on their own, in their own time. We have to release those we love, to let Spirit guide them to it. Either way, Justice is here.
I keep seeing a dry riverbed with a trickle of water, that quickly becomes a very fast and and massive volume of water that arrives in a sudden almost violent wave.
Water is finally here for the thirsty.
Get ready to drink.
25/4/2021- update
The day I posted this, after I had posted it, I went to my local hardware store (Bunnings Australia…my favourite place), on returning, I caught my neighbour doing something that has created tension between us. I confronted him directly, to his face EVERYTHING that he has done!!
This is not what I would have normally done. But I realised that this was a lesson that Spirit has been trying to teach me many many times. In the past I really suffered with a closed throat Chakra. I was never able to speak up at the right time, I’d go blank, I couldn’t think straight and I couldn’t defend myself in the moment. The things I should have said would come to me about 2 days later, and I would be so upset and mad that I didn’t say it. The moment would pass and I would be left feeling powerless and trapped in unjust situations.
Yesterday afternoon, I finally had a win. This mature big family man resorted to a childish tactic by saying to me…“I can’t hear you, can you speak up.”, repetitively whilst looking at me and smiling, he could very clearly hear me and was trying to throw me off. I suddenly realised that I had been given the upper hand and I took the opportunity to say everything I had wanted to say.. (in the past I wouldn’t have dared do so), he had literally just given me the floor, he had to stay silent so he didn’t look like he was faking it, so I sat on the ground whilst he continued doing what he was doing, and I said everything.
I am not an aggressive person. But one of the cycles that Spirit keeps bringing me, is about standing up for myself, owning my space, owning my rights, and not only standing my ground but also learning to push back when it is needed. To openly challenge when challenged. Not caving when others use intimidation tactics and manipulations against me.
Afterwards, he simply walked away without a word, and I went inside and of course meditated on what had happened and I received a heap of positive affirming statements.
Sometimes we have to bring the justice. We are the justice. We are the Judges. We are the court.
We have to play every role in order to see with wisdom and empathy.
Although, I was confronting and I felt in that moment, that I was the aggressor, the words needed to be said, the impact needed to be made. I detest having to do this, I would prefer other more passive and kinder alternatives, but sometimes after you’ve exhausted those alternatives, you are left with no other choice. Stamping your foot and raising your voice cannot not be avoided.
We can be Victims that remain in a Victim cycle or we can be Victims who learn and stop those toxic cycles, so we can be true to who we are and what our purpose is.
Who are you and what is your purpose?
What keeps on happening to you to prevent you from standing in your authenticity and the work that you really want to do…are meant to do?
I love you
Keep learning with me.
Nina sing yourself to me
Tell the world about your sadness and despair
You’ve known it well
Lazy calm oozes
I sit on the front porch
Imagining I am in the deep south
Sing Nina!
Tell me of the sorrow and the despair that you know!
The Sun and the Blues collaborate
Strangely made for each other
Heat and heartache
Smelted together in smooth sympatico waves.
