The Unveiled Bride

Experiences do not tell us WHO we are

People do not tell us WHO we are

Things do not tell us WHO we are

My peace cannot be dictated by anything

My peace cannot be dictated by anyone

Watch me rise

I am standing here today,

In this space

On this ground

While you run behind me

While you gather forces against me

As you stare at me in fury

That is ok

I’m ok to observe you in your fury

Because …..I am ok (she says it almost in a whisper…because she has never said it before).

But this makes you even more furious

How strange (she thinks to herself)

But how interesting (she observes to herself)

When you find peace for yourself and therefore happiness

How it brings forth rage and fierce determination in others to destroy it

Somehow your balance tips the scales for others

It drives them mad

They want you to remain mad and in despair and longing

Because it brings them …..happiness…? (Huh? she thinks to herself)

But maybe yes.

Your despair brings contentment and peace to those who wish ill of you

But to those who find their happiness and peace, despite this….

They unwittingly, heighten the unhappiness, despair and longing in those who wish you ill.

I have overcome my fear of you today

I have overcome my fear of losing you and being alone

I have overcome my desperate hope for your love

Because, I no longer fear myself

I no longer fear loss…of any kind…

Every loss is actually gain

So let them dance furiously around me

I am the maypole, that you dance around elaborately

As you wish me harm

But I thank you!

I deeply and profoundly thank you

For you are adorning me and making me beautiful

My heart is filled with gratitude for you

Deep and profound gratitude

I never knew my strength

I never saw my beauty

But today, I feel like a bride who wears no veil because she knows she is beautiful

She wants to show everybody

There is nothing to hide

Why do we have beauty, if it is not to be seen.

I will run through a field of flowers with the sun, the sky in a wedding dress with my hair flying free

I am like a bird in the air

Tumbling in delight at the freedom of flight.

I can sing, I can dance, I can laugh, I can fly

As I stand as a maypole

or

Run freely like a an unveiled bride in a field of flowers

My sincere and profound gratitude

I give to you.

6 thoughts on “The Unveiled Bride

    1. I took a very deep breath at this. An anxious breath, but only because I can feel the pain. It is my own stress response. I feel you may already have an inkling about what these numbers represent. My immediate thoughts were,

      1- 911- Emergency help and assistance. Help is available to everyone in need. All the time. My feeling is, that it is time for you to call to the spiritual realm (or by all means, any help you need, counsellors, therapists anything that can give you guidance, especially in times of crises). Ask for help in prayer, look for help. Everything is granted to you. But get ready. The answers you receive are the answers you need, not the answers you think you need. The answers will always be a call for you to return to authenticity. What are you not facing? The thing that is causing us pain, is often the thing that we are holding onto the most. The thing we feel we can’t live without, the thing that we thought was making us happy. Sometimes it is actually the source of our unhappiness. Happiness can only be found by living authentically, in full truth. It is the source of our power and our joy. Pray/ask for clarity and the courage to accept what is true, not what we want to be true.

      2- 9/11- The twin towers/Towers- My friend, I feel your pain. Towers are given to us to help us. They are never easy. But they reveal the truth. Painfully, shockingly. Sometimes it’s the only way for us to see clearly. They are given as a gift (it’s not exactly the gift we enjoy in the moment).

      I just had a major one myself, this week. This revelation was the root cause to all my issues. It came to light, and it left me devastated. In a good way, I’ve been doing healing work for a long time, but I kept being stuck, small changes were possible, but the problems kept creeping back. This tower was a parental relationship issue. I was finally able to concretely understand the nature of my relationship with this parent. I invested an incredible amount of love, time, energy, care and hope in. I had a deep need to receive from this parent. A need to be seen, heard, accepted, loved, nurtured, cared for. This tower came with a suddenness I wasn’t expecting. I had seen it in a conscious way, but I couldn’t feel it internally. Externally, it didn’t look lacking, but it always felt lacking. So I was continually in a state of self doubt. But it was a relationship that was deeply lacking. This parent deliberately withheld emotional connection, affection, care, nurture and love. It kept me busy, distracted, confused and seeking. It was most certainly a form of emotional abuse. I’ve concluded it was a covert narcissistic relationship, one that was actually very very discreet. There were no elations or major depletions. There was little or no drama. But there was a consistent dripping of energy from me. A constant giving and doing the work, whilst the other party, agreed, listened and gave indication that they were on board and would do anything for me, but actually never did anything. Nothing ever grew, nothing ever changed, no matter how much I gave, tried, helped, supported, educated, guided. It was a deeply co- dependent relationship. But I could never figure out what this persons intentions were towards me. We seemed to have a loving enjoyable relationship. But I always left this parent feeling depleted. The ‘gifts’ were actually tasks and chores, My birthdays were arranged and organised by me, I cooked and cleaned for myself, No matter how many times I asked for this parent to recipricate the energy I put into them, it was never reciprocated the same. It was always lacking or missing or left up to me to do the vast majority of work. The gifts were always something that looked like me, but were actually things this parent liked. If I asked specifically for something, then rest assured I wouldn’t receive it or I would receive it but ….not quite. Sometimes I would be lavished with things he wanted me to have. Not actually what I wanted. I knew if I spoke up, it would make me appear ungrateful and spoilt. But I was always unhappy, always disappointed and I always felt lacking. Especially emotionally.

      But that is my story…. maybe you needed to hear it.

      But the point is clear. Truth is coming toward you my dear friend. It will probably rock your foundations. And it sounds like you may be about to receive many…or you have been already.

      Try and look for the lesson. It is a call for you to return to your true self. Listen to your emotions and your feelings. They are your truth, they are your guiding star. Your intuition is never wrong, neither are your feelings, no matter how unbelievable they may seem. Sometimes reality is so crazy that it feels easier to tell ourselves that we are wrong. Instead of what is actually happening around us.

      Don’t doubt yourself. Welcome the truth as a dear friend who is coming to rescue you from dark people and dark places. Welcome the towers. Sometimes our greatest strength is our sensitivity, our big hearts and our beautiful vulnerability.

      The towers come as our answer to prayer…that is why we have to be ready. Expect them. Have courage. They are gifts from the universe. They are the thing that will bring you healing and restoration. Release what doesn’t serve you, return to your authentic self. I bet you are the most glorious being. In fact I know you are.

      Feel everything you haven’t been. It’s time for you to see yourself as you really are, and also to see the people, the community that surrounds you.
      You are deeply loved. Even if currently no one around you is showing you true love.
      Others do not determine your worth.

      Have courage. It’s time for you to see your worth and to fall in love with yourself.

      I was also given a heap of examples for you to look into, They are the old bible stories, The Tower of Babel, Joseph, Daniel and the Lions Den, David and Goliath, Jonah and the Whale. I’m just going to assume that you don’t know these stories. You can google them. I’d advise you to find a bible version that is easy to read like the Good News Bible or something similar.

      God chooses men and woman by their hearts, not by their strength. It is a recurrent theme in biblical stories. Greatness is going through fire, rejection, destruction. It is being the one who people think would be the last to do great things. The ones whom their communities, doubt, reject, sabotage, despise because of jealousy. They experience great brutality at the hands of their families and their communities. They are threatened and beaten. Always with the intent to destroy/silence/control.

      Your voice is important and valuable. Beware anyone who tries to silence you. Expect great resistance as you begin to speak. Those who truly listen and support you are your true friends. Those who sabotage, shame you or use guilt against you or simply ignore you, should be considered not friendly. Trust your instincts, self doubt is a great enemy.

      Become the Adorned Maypole and the Unveiled Bride.
      Because that is actually who you are anyway.
      It’s who you always were.
      You just didn’t know it.

      All my love to you.

      Like

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